Confessions of a Fat Girl Part 9

This is not the greatest of pictures but I think it demonstrats what this post is about. By no means is this a 'brag' post. This is more of an evaluation of where I was a year ago. When you look at yourself in the mirror everyday sometimes it's hard to see. But I got my new staff id the other day and compared it to a year ago. It was evident to me that there has been a change.

I was looking back at my weight loss journal. I started my journey the Tuesday after Labor Day one year ago. I had my first 'weigh in' on 9/15. I started out doing weigh ins on Tuesdays then changed to Saturdays. I am not ready to put any numbers out there in cyber world......about where I started and where I am now only because I am frustrated coming off the summer. I have maintained, however I have not lost. Things are crazy right now and getting back into the exercise routine has been difficult to say the least. But I guess I can say that maintaining is certainly half the battle so that is a small victory, I think.

I will share why I decided enough was enough. August of 2010 found me in the office of my OB-GYN for my yearly exam. I KNEW what the scale would show. I KNEW it. However, seeing that number nearly brought me to my knees. I was practically in tears. I don't know what it was exactly in that moment b/c the number wasn't a shock. I just think it was a real wake up call. How could I have let myself get this big. Then I preceded to talk with the doctor about my weight history. I started going to this OB in the middle of my pregnancy with Tug. This is the largest I have ever been in my life. It was time to do something. She gave me some suggestions for starting my journey. I think maybe in the back of her mind thinking I wouldn't really do anything about it. I see her again next week and I can NOT wait for the reaction. That will be one of the confirmations that all this hard work has paid off.

My second epiphany came a couple of weeks later also in the month of August. This is the hardest one to share partly because it's so embarrassing and partly because I was so crushed. We decided to head to Carowinds with my mom and brother. Anyone who knows me knows I am terrified of heights but love the thrill of a roller coaster. My brother shares that love of the thrill. We decided we HAD to ride the Intimadator ride. You know.......the tallest/fastest roller coaster in the southeast. Well, we walked our way toward the ride. They had a 'fitting' seat outside the ride. The place you could go to check to make sure you 'fit'.........that the safety harness will close without you having to wait in line and find out in the most embarrassing of ways. As if my way wasn't bad enough. I could barely get my hips in the seat and when I went to strap down the bar it just wouldn't lock. And here is one of the ride operators practically standing on the bar to make it lock. I couldn't believe it.........I mean I could.......I knew I was capital F A T, however that had NEVER happened to me before. Being turned away from something I wanted to do because I couldn't fit. That's it folks. Those two occurences where the changing factors in my life. I thank God for those two moments. They were the wake up calls I needed. I don't ever want to go back there. And by the grace and power of God I can lose another 50 pounds. That is my ultimate goal. I hope you'll cheer me along and pray for my strength/will power...........I thank you thus far for all the encouragement and praise. It has made the biggest difference and meant so much to me.